I was sending an email when a little magic wand popped up that said “Polish” and I thought that was weird because why would I want to translate my email into Polish?
I tried to click on it to make it go away but instead it changed the entire email because apparently it was saying that it needed to “polish” my email because I guess I’m too unsophisticated to use words:
There is no way in hell anyone who knows me would get that email and not think I’d been abducted so I deleted the suggested rewrite and updated my email:
But after I added the update gmail was like, “YOU’RE STILL DOING IT WRONG, IDIOT?” and the polish thing came up again and I was like, “Are you trying to AI fix a paragraph where I say how much I don’t want AI to fix shit?” And turns out, yeah, that exactly what it meant because it gave me this:
Jesus. Y’all, if you get an email from me it will be signed with HUGS, LOVE, FIGHT THE PATRIARCHY, DOWN WITH POWDERED GRAVY or SORRY I SUCK SO MUCH. It will be filled with typos and rambling parentheticals and apologies for answering several months too late. This is how you know it’s me and not a robot. My only hope is that my constant declining of the suggestions will make the AI learn from me and spread my terrible etiquette throughout the world.
Also, I just realized when I tried to insert these pictures into this blog about how much I hate AI my blog was suddenly like, “HEY I KNOW YOU JUST CLICKED A BUTTOM SAYING YOU WANT TO ADD A SPECIFIC PICTURE BUT HOW ABOUT WE JUST MAKE AI IMAGES FOR YOU INSTEAD?” AM I ON CANDID CAMERA? It’s like my whole computer is a toddler screaming “LET ME DO IT!” every time I try to create something.
And as much as I hate AI, I had to see what the program thought it could do so much better than me so I gave it the prompt “please stop giving me AI” and…all apologies. Clearly I did need help because…fucking wow. Nailed it:
Anyway…this sucks.
Worst regards,
Jenny
